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The Foo Fighters song about two destitute prostitutes
With guest singer Tracy Martin
Written by Benson/Tassos
From the Live From An Undisclosed Location LP
©2003 The Scrodes
2003 ESCAPE Productions

A Tale of Two Prostitutes

I, I’m a one-legged prostitute
I live in a phone booth, I follow you back home
I, I like to give one-legged head
I don’t care if you’re live or dead, makes no difference to me
I’m a ho

Its times like these I wish I had two legs
It’s hard to spread one real leg and one peg
Its times like these I wish I was a biped
Its times like these I wish I had two legs

I, I’m a slant-eye from Bangkok
You pay me to bang cock, but poon tang free tonight
I, I like rice with bukkake sauce
I never keep my legs crossed
I bang everyone on turnpike
I’m a ho

Its times like these I wish I was over four feet tall
Cause when I kneel down I can’t reach American balls
Its times like these I wish my feet were not so small
So I can balance getting screwed in bathroom stalls

I’m a ho
I’m a ho
I’m a ho
I’m a ho

Its times like these I wish I had two legs
It’s hard to spread one real leg and one peg
Its times like these I wish I was a biped
Its times like these I wish I had two legs

Its times like these I wish I was over four feet tall
Cause when I kneel down I can’t reach American balls
Its times like these I wish my feet were not so small
So I can balance getting screwed in bathroom stalls

Its times like these I wish I had two legs
It’s hard to spread one real leg and one peg
Its times like these I wish I was a biped
It’s times like these I wish I had two legs.